Couples Addiction Recovery Therapy

Trust, safety, connection, love, forgiveness, recommitment and growth.

“When addiction sweeps through a couple’s life together, many factors can get in the way of forgiveness, recommitment, trust, connection, love, and growth in the partnership.”

Addiction is the number one barrier to intimacy. Dishonesty and absence become the norm. While one partner is having an affair with their drug or behavior of choice, the other is scratching their head, wondering how they became not enough or became the rescuer in keeping everything from falling apart. In addition to the intimacy dynamics of the couple, children know the truth at a very young age, they are affected by their parent’s absence, temperament, and unavailability to connect with them. Children are also sensitive to their other parent’s disappointment, anger, and frustration.

The family becomes a household living on eggshells. The addicted loved one treads lightly avoiding any potential conflicts, not wanting to be the focus of the family’s attention. Family members walk lightly trying not to upset the status quo of their relationship, and children adapt to being the caretaker of their grown-up’s emotions. The unspoken house rules become “don’t talk, don’t ask, don’t feel.”

Couples Recovery Therapy Ginny Bahr California Colorado

Can a Couple Recover from a Divide of this Magnitude?

Cultivating a sustainable satisfying intimate relationship requires care and attention, prioritization and courage. Couples struggle in this effort even when there isn’t addiction as a barrier. It’s important that couples therapy be addiction informed, where addiction treatment is part of the couple’s solution, it is not the solution in and of itself. Addiction treatment for one partner gets the couple to the starting line for couples therapy. One partner’s addiction isn’t usually the entirety of the couples challenges together.

Couples therapy offers an opportunity for growth, supporting each partner to align with their authentic self. This authenticity may lead to ‘next level’ relationship skills that didn’t happen in one’s family of origin (fishbowl), recommitment to one’s partnership and diligence in rebuilding the trust for intimacy to thrive. Or, it can lead to partners finding their voice, establishing healthier boundaries for themselves leading to the couple parting ways.

Having a supportive guide to help a couple recover from the impact addiction has reaped on your beloved and on your relationship, to rebuild trust and safety, to be seen again, can help a couple bridge the polarizing gap, move into full alignment with their values and connect on a deeper level than even before the addiction.

Couples therapy is not a competition or enlisting a therapist to collude with one side being more right than the other. It is, however, an opportunity for both partners to recognize their patterns, that include addictive behaviors, and heal their relational wounds. This creates space for new ways of connecting authentically and growing together, where they had inadvertently stopped growing.

Ready to Begin?

The decision to continue exploring your addiction recovery alongside a therapist is a big one, and if you’re ready to make that decision, Marin Family Recovery is here to support and celebrate this choice. If you would like to learn more about recovery resources and therapy services available from Marin Family Recovery, please reach out.